I now bring you the next addition to the “Bitch…” Chronicles. Those that have read my previous posts probably know what I’m talking about. But today we need to discuss some serious tomfoolery that is occurring day in and day out. I’m sick and tired of folks thinking they deserve credit for successfully completing tasks they are supposed to do.

Let’s Get it!

“I Take Care Of My Kids!!!”

Wow, good for you. Have a cookie and Shut The Fuck Up! Nigga, you supposed to take care of your kids. You don’t get a trophy for that shit. Nobody’s gonna call the mayor and set up a parade. You take care of your kids because you love them. You take care of your kids today so that when you get old, and can’t do it anymore, they will take care of you. You take care of them so that you don’t have to bail their asses out of jail later on. And for the record… paying child support is not “taking care” of your kids. I know everyone has different situations and there are men out there going to war just because some underhanded, poor storage of double “x” chromosomes is keeping their kid(s) away from him just to be mean. I know this. I get this. And, I’m not talking to yall so Shut The Fuck Up! I’m talkin’ to the feeble minded kat that thinks because he drops $20 a month in the mail that he has fulfilled his moral obligation. If this is you… and you are offended… GOOD!

“I Don’t Beat My Woman!”
Again… So The Fuck What! Wow! You, like everyone else, have a level of self-control. You’re so cool! I feel you though. I too know that a chick, especially one you are in a relationship with, can get on your nerves to the point where you just want to implant them into a piece of sheetrock from time to time. And sometimes you might be completely justified in doing it. But just because you don’t, nobody’s gonna get out the party poppers and congratulate you. You’re a man. You’re not supposed to hit women. Even though I’ve known a few chicks in my short time here on earth that could beat the dog shit out of their mates, they never did. And it’s the same for guys… No hitting women (even if they deserve it)! When did you learn that? Pre-K? Come on bruh.

“I ain’t never been to jail!”
Ok… so against all odds you mad it to 19 and haven’t been to jail… yet. Statistically, if you look at the 2 black men on your left and the 2 black men on your right… If you are seeing more than 3 people… gon’ head and get ya’ commissary game up playa. But I do congratulate you. And by all means, keep up the good work! But once again… no brotha, nobody’s gonna hang the piñata for that.

And ladies… Ooooohhh no! You aren’t left out of this either. While you sittin’ over there laughin’ at these niggas… You ain’t much better. But, I’m gonna take it light on you. Not much though. Since majority of you know what you are SUPPOSED to be doing. I’m gonna tell you some shit you shouldn’t be doing that yo’ simple ass just can’t seem to figure out.

Let’s do top ten (In no particular order):
1) Stop getting pregnant by a dude so you can keep him. ~ YOU STUPID BITCH!!! That’s all I have to say
2) Stop breaking your back to help people that have shown you they don’t give a shit about you. ~ Time and time again, I’ve seen it. It’s ridiculous. Girl stop now! “If someone SHOWS you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!” Big up Maya Angelou!
3) Stop jumping from relationship to relationship. Maybe yo’ simple ass is supposed to be alone so you can learn who you really are. ~ Plus you need to re-evaluate why you’ve never celebrated your birthday with the same guy twice.
4) Just because your kid’s father donated sperm does not guarantee him a slot in the kid’s life. ~ All kids need a father figure, but it doesn’t HAVE to be their father. All kids should know who their father is, but if their father ain’t shit, there is no reason for them to HAVE TO be around them.
5) Which touches on #5. If you have a man. And you know he ain’t shit. Stop keeping him around because he is the main male figure-head in your kid’s life. ~ If he ain’t shit… he ain’t shit… Would you really want your kids to model themselves after some ain’t-shit kat anyway?
6) Learn to be comfortable with (and love) your damn self! ~ If you don’t like you. Chances are the rest of us won’t like your ugly ass either!
7) Be honest! ~ If you ain’t feelin’ the dude you with, break that shit off. Stop worrying about everybody else’s feelings before yours.
Stop putting all your business out in the streets then wonder why the whole offices knows what you did in Mexico. ~ Like my granddaddy used to say, “Everybody’s business ain’t everybody’s business.” i.e. Shut The Fuck Up!
9) Stop listening to other mufuckas when they tell you to do shit you know you aren’t ready to and/or can’t do. ~ This includes every fuckin’ body. Pastors, parents, co-workers… You know you better than anyone. Be honest with you and you will know what you can handle.
10) Stop blamin’ everybody new that you meet for the things done by everybody that you hate. ~ And that doesn’t just mean guys that you meet… Chicks always screamin’ “All Niggas ain’t shit!” Shut up Bitch! What you really mean is all the niggas YOU fuck with ain’t shit. Big Up Kat Williams! You haven’t dated a significant number of the male population on earth to say that niggas ain’t shit. But this is bigger than your ex’s. Stop comparing people in your life. As soon as you are able to look at people as individuals… You might find out that they reciprocate.

All in all… People… Stop expecting praise for stuff you are supposed to do. Stop stressing because your child’s school doesn’t acknowledge the fact that you spend 2 – 3 hours a night helping your child with his homework. It’ll be aight. Just keep doing it.

~We will receive not what we idly wish for but what we justly earn. Our rewards will always be in exact proportion to our service.~

Big Up Earl Nightingale!!

Bless!

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